Bring the Funny

Books to make milk come out of your nose.

He hadn’t been joking, but he was Joe King, and it was obvious, as far as he was concerned, that that was where all of his troubles had begun. It could have been worse. He could have been called Wayne.

Year Twelve. And Joe King doesn’t know what he’s going to do with his life. All he does know is that the girl he is in love with is going out with his best friend.

^ Doing It Melvin Burgess

‘OK,’ said Jonathon. ‘The choice is this. You either have to shag Jenny Gibson – or else that homeless woman who begs spare change outside Crammer’s bakers.’

Three boys – and only one thing on their minds…

That was a pretty cool operation you did. I take my hat off to you and bow down to the ground but get those shoes away from me. I’m not kissing those shoes. You hear me? Are you kidding? GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! GET YOUR STINKING SHOES AWAY FROM ME!!

Lydia, Cassie and Emily are experiencing the Joy of the Envelope. Having a penpal turns Lydia into a secret agent, Emily into a relationship expert and Cassie… what’s going on with Cassie?

Pandora and I are in love! It is official! She told Claire Nelson, who told Nigel, who told me. I told Nigel to tell Claire to tell Pandora that I return her love. I am over the moon with joy. I can overlook the fact that Pandora smokes five Benson and Hedges a day and has her own lighter. When you are in love such things cease to matter.

Sure, some of the references are a little dated (like the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Di – that was the year I was born!), but when you get down to it, being a teenager is a universal condition, and nobody does it with more angst, pain and clumsiness than Adrian Mole. Utterly hilarious. Read them all.

I’d just met the most sensational girl in the world – and I was wearing tights. Wet tights with curious lumps. I tried to recall our conversation and how many stupid things I’d said. There were at least two.

Seth knows what a pregnant goldfish is called, but he doesn’t know where you meet muscular girls, or whether credit card fraud is a good idea. Like so many young men, he turns to a tome of wisdom that can shine light on his burning questions. Dolly.

Feminine Hygiene Products. Or FHP, as I like to call them.
Hang on. Don’t get me wrong. I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, what was I going to say if it had been a jar of pickled gherkins? ‘Hi, Jason. My name is Calma Harrison. I don’t menstruate, but I love spicy stuff.’ No.

Calma’s life isn’t easy. She’s taken on a job at Crazi-Cheep so she can be near the boy of her dreams; her absent father has just turned up; her mother has a secret; and her best friend is hiding something terrible.

‘I told her,’ Bonnie said in a soft voice, ‘not to use my shampoo. I told her and I told her, but she wouldn’t listen. So…’ Bonnie shrugged.

Seb knows she shouldn’t be hanging out with Bonnie… but what else is there to do?

‘Would you like me to look under your bonnet?’
Oh, you bet, mister, but he meant the car of course. ‘Er, yeah, sure.’

Rosie is looking after her grandfather's precious black Mercedes while he's in jail, and it’s going to take her on the ride of her life. Old people, missing diamonds and hot boys: this book has it all.

^ Good Omens Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

‘You’re Hells Angels, then? What chapter are you from?’
‘REVELATIONS, CHAPTER SIX.’

It’s Armageddon. But funny.

'Ford,' he said, 'you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'

The Earth has been demolished to make room for a hyperspace bypass, and Arthur Dent is a bit upset about it.

^ Books marked with a ^ contain content suitable for older readers