Writer in Residence

Maree, thanks for the great comments, I’m glad you like the books. Yep, I’m, still kind of proud of So Much to Tell You. I like those books where nothing happens - it’s just the internal life of the character/s that’s being explored. Letters from the Inside and Winter are like that.

Hannah, no, sorry haven’t hear of Sarah.

Ebony, have you read Daughter of the Wind by Staples? Great book.

Well, folks the show is over. It’s been a real pleasure to hear from you. Hope reading gives you as much rich satisfaction as it’s given me.

Be well, John

Ah, J-nee, you continue to express yourself in ways that make me totter on my walking frame. Hope you write poetry…well you do already, but hope you write poems. Laura, go for the 20, be happy with that!

School starts tomorrow, and I am primed and ready.  The first half of the year was pretty busy, as I had to read 93 books for the Prime Minister’s Fiction Award.  Only had a couple of weeks to read them.  Okay, maybe a bit more than that.  The first rule of writing is “Exaggerate”.  In fact the first 31 rules of writing are “Exaggerate”. Basically, the way you write is to take a whole bunch of true incidents, exaggerate them, then weave them together in an ongoing narrative, chucking in a bit of made up stuff as you go.

No problem.

Anyway, reading the 93 books was amazing.  For me, the ratio of great to not-so-good was almost exactly 2:1.  In other words, about 30 of the books were wonderful, absorbing, beautiful, brilliant etc etc.  The other 60 were crap.

Okay, I know, more exaggeration. But gee, to read 30 Australian novels that were all published in the same year, and that were all compellingly good, is not bad for a small country.

I go through periods where I can’t read a novel, and then I binge.  Tonight I haven’t read anything; instead, have been watching an Australian movie called 2.37, which is intense and extraordinary, as well as being brutal and sad.  I totally admire the filmmaker, Murali K Thalluri. but to be honest I wouldn’t like to have to watch it again.  But of course that’s a compliment to its power.

Well, back in Oz, and surprise surprise puddles on the ground give a hint that even here rain is not completely forgotten as a commodity. The Conference was great, thanks for asking, and a side trip to Rotorua where hot mud boils out of the ground in turgid plops was memorable. A spa under the stars with a bottle of champagne and a packet of M and M’s… what more can life offer? Well, quite a bit actually, I found out.

The other highlight was the drive back to Auckland where a series of 8 or so billboards told the ongoing tragic consequences of an accident caused by a speeding driver. How is this cause for mirth, as Rudyard Kipling once asked, in a different context? Well, it shouldn’t be, but even the best of causes can be brought undone by undue earnestness, portentousness or a heavy-handed approach. The billboards read like a serial, and we got so distracted looking for the next episode that we could have had a nasty accident…

Very nice to hear from more blog-participants… Bill Condon, fellow scrabble junkie, now doing cold turkey. You know there were 3 novels published in Australia last year by different Condons… I think that’s amazing.

Kyrielle, thanks for the scrabble info! That’s a tough test, to use a word in a sentence. I suppose you can always try the old standby `I don’t know what euoi means’ but a lot of people won’t lt you get away with that.

J-nee, you really have a unique style! About the most important thing in writing, to me, is ENERGY, and your posts have that, big-time.

And Andrew thanks for your comments. It’s nice to get a guernsey from the other side of the Pacific. Sorry if my books have interfered with your social life, but fear not, the Tomorrow series and Ellie chronicles only total about 800,000 words, so you’ll soon be finished. I can’t believe I wrote so many words.  You know, for me, there are plenty of times in writing a novel that I am totally sick of the whole thing - not the storyline, just the writing -  but generally I plug on.

See you later folks!

John

J-nee, what a great expression. `My bloody gosh’, I mean. That is strong and descriptive!  Jessica, say hi to your mum for me. I had a good time at Assumption College. Right now I’m in Hamilton New Zealand at a reading conference. They have stuff here I don’t remember ever seeing before, like rain

But you know the great thing about New Zealand, which makes it so so different to Australia? Here,

The teachers are happy to have conferences in the school holidays! Yes folks, that’s right, they don’t take time away from their classes to update their skills. Amazing. In Australia, I hardly ever go to conferences, because they’re all during school time.

Anyway, back to the messages that I found inside a dog. It is fun to read them. Joanna, I agree so much about the American stuff that’s out there. It’s the same with movies. I am sick of the American obsession with their own lives, and their belief that their lives are so fascinating to themselves and therefore they must be fascinating to us as well.

Australians probably don’t make enough movies about their own lives… they’re usually set way in the past. I liked that one, Black Something, about living with a severely autistic young man. It didn’t have much of a storyline but it was powerful.

Evening all! Thanks for the positive comments, although I haven’t been called Mars Bar since I was about 16.  It’s 12.30 on a  Sunday morning and you may think there is something tragic about being at my keyboard so late on a Saturday night. BUT in fact I am recently back from a very good time with someone I love, so my evening has been anything but dull. I have to confess that I am about to launch into my greatest vice and addiction, which is on-line scrabble. Try it, at isc.com.ru I think it is… but be prepared to sell your soul to it. And be prepared to play words which you may secretly despise, like qat, zein, xu, euoi and tranq if you want to win. And i do! My rating has just gone over 1400, which is a very rare event in my life, so I’m quite tranq’d, euoi’d and zeined about that. (And no, I haven’t got a clue what they mean either!)

Yai yai yai, so many comments. It’s 7 in the a.m. (you know the most common tautology in English has to be “It was 7 a.m. in the morning”) and I’m a bit blown away by the number of people inside this particular dog. I don’t know where to start. But thanks for the wonderful warm and generous comments about my books, especially the Tomorrow series.

It is funny though when people get the names of the books wrong… so far in this blog people have managed to call So Much to Tell You `Something to Tell You’ and `To Much to Tell You’. I used to play with sequel titles like `A Bit More to Tell You’, `Something Else I Just Thought Of’, and `One Last Thing!’

So many people call `Tomorrow, When the War Began’ `Tomorrow, When the Word Began’.

Anyway, to answer a few specific questions….

Dale Thomas, yes, I believe I have heard of him. I go for the Bulldogs, who beat the Pies the other day. Bad luck for Dale whatsit…

I was very pleased to be called a role dude person…. never been called that before.

Yes Isabella, people were mean to me when I was at school and I was mean to people. These things are so complex. I’d say that, i dunno, 80% of kids who are treated unpleasantly are contributing to their problems in some way.
Often they’re very negative in their dealings with others (which may be because of the way they’ve been treated, so it all gets circular).

er…yes… anfo does work. It’s extremely powerful and totally dangerous.

Hamlet, thanks for asking, is a novel based on the play… speaking of `opening sentences’, here’s mine, plus a bit more… yes folks, this is a world premiere!!!

‘Do you believe in ghosts?’ Horatio asked him.
He was lying on Hamlet’s bed. Hamlet was sitting on the floor, in a corner. The prince was eating strawberries.
He smiled. It was the first time Horatio had seen him smile since the funeral. He traced a line on the stone with his finger. ‘I don’t believe in floors,’ he said. ‘I don’t believe in lines.’
‘But do you believe in ghosts?’
‘I don’t believe in walls or ceilings. Or pewter mugs. Or sparrows. I don’t believe in strawberries.’
‘But ghosts?’
‘I don’t believe in anything you can see or touch or taste.’
‘So you do believe in ghosts?’
Hamlet smiled again. He wriggled, on the hard floor. His eyes, his grey eyes, lifted and met Horatio. ‘My bum’s getting sore. Let’s go play football.’

Woops, 7.30, gotta dash, Johnzo

Btw, love the different modes of address i.e. Johnny, Sir, Guvna, etc etc

Yeah, well, dunno what the smile thing’s all about. But I’m feeling pretty good tonight. Life’s had some sweet moments lately. From a publishing point-of-view, the same applies: I’ve had a couple of decent offers from the USA for my new novel, Hamlet. That should help buy the dog food. Went to Assumption College Kilmore today to speak to some students - pertty nice group they were too. Well, they weren’t especially pretty…. you’ll note there’s no comma after `pretty’.

There were some serious serious writers there. Don’t they know there’s more money in dentistry? Poor misguided fools. One girl has written a script for Shaun Tan’s book The Arrival. Amazing. Another guy has been waiting for 4 years for an answer from Puffin for some stories he submitted to them. Somehow I think they’re not going to answer.

Full moon tomorrow. God I never tire of that big lemon circle hanging over the world like the eye of a god.  Shine on baby! Nite everyone.