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Martin family birthday breakfasts followed a strict tradition. First, there were Belgian waffles, made by Belinda, the beloved Hopewell Hotel cook. These were served up with an array of toppings: chocolate syrup, fresh lemon whipped cream, stewed strawberries, and powdered vanilla sugar. The air should have been thick with wafflely perfume. Instead, there was an acrid, confusing smell, undercut by a light touch of smoke.
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Writer in Residence
Wherein We Consider The Awesome Of Meat Loaf
Some people write to music, some people don’t. Sometimes I do, but if I’m revising or concentrating really hard on a really impossible scene (usually an action scene, since they are the devil) I tend to talk out loud as I write, and music just gets in the way.
But for all the other things I do as part of my writing life, like answering emails or writing blog posts or washing dishes while waiting for my backbrain to work on sticking points, I need music.
Lately, for reasons that have nothing to do with outside circumstances and everything to do with the pile of hyperactive hamsters that live in my brain, I have been in need of something familiar and reliably mood-uplifting. Basically, I needed Meat Loaf.
I mentioned that I had been listening to the Loaf non-stop for a week to writing friends, and one of them compacted her face into a black hole of distaste. “WHY?” she demanded, before revealing that she had spent the last week listening to the audiobook of Margo Lanagan’s Tender Morsels. That is an incredible book, deserving of all the honours showered upon it, but it’s not exactly a cheering tale. If I had to listen to Tender Morsels right now, I think all the brain-hamsters would scrabble out of my ears and run run run for the sea.
Nope. Gotta be Meat Loaf.
Meat Loaf is all bombast and performance and crazy over-the-topness, it is true! But he is so SINCERE about it. Yes, all the songs are about pretty much the same thing - a boy who wants a girl to sit behind him as he drives a motorcycle like a bat out of hell down a road lit by the full moon in the middle of a hot summer’s night. I am totally okay with that. That is the American dream. And even non-Americans can yearn for the impossible romance and possibility of a rebellious youth on a motorbike, swapping genders as appropriate.
Top Five Meat Loaf Songs Ever
5. Everything Louder Than Everything Else
A number of nice basic statements of the Meat Loaf creed:
- “If the thrill is gone, then it’s time to take it back”
- “A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age”
- “There’s a party raging somewhere in the world”
- “I like my music like I like my life: everything louder than everything else”
It’s like… anti-Zen. It also features a really awesome intro about the narrator killing a boy with a Fender guitar.
Yes, the long version.
4. Out of the Frying Pan (And Into The Fire)
I defy anyone who’s ever lived through a disgusting summer’s day to deny the kinship they feel to these lyrics:
It’s never been this hot
And I’ve never been this bored
And breathing’s just no fun anymore.
The solution to this boredom is a girl who looks restless and reckless and lost, who he invited into his house: “Come on, come on, and there’ll be no turning back / You were only killing time, and it’ll kill you right back.”
He describes her going into the house and lying down on the bed and then tells her that he wants to take her out of the frying pan and into the fire. I think this means that he is going to make her extra-crispy bacon!
And for those who think that all the genius of Meat Loaf is attributable to songwriter Jim Steinman - who is a genius - I advise listening to this version, by Steinman. Steinman has the words; Meat Loaf has the voice.
3. You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)
On a hot summer night would I offer up my throat to the wolf with the red roses? Probably not. But thanks for asking! Nice song!
I love that they are all acting out the words, even on stage. That is how I do it with my hairbrush!
2. I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)
This is the Meat Loaf song with the best video, where it’s all about a hounded motorcycle-riding Beast who meets a Beauty bathing in a forest glade and then she sings on a flying couch. It is AWESOME, no lie. If you haven’t been clicking on these videos, you have to watch this one:
And here’s the Literal Video Version (warning for more explicit sexual content plus slurs against women. Bad show, LVV peeps!):
People complain that he never reveals what he won’t do for love. DUH, he means that he won’t cheat on her! These people just don’t care enough to listen to the 12 minute version. Lightweights.
1. Bat Out Of Hell
This is the song I’m going to die to in the Zombie Apocalyse, as I lay waste to the living dead in a valiant effort to make an escape route for the city’s last survivors.
What? It’s important to plan ahead.
And thus concludes my manifesto. If you’re not convinced, I just don’t know what to tell you. Perhaps you need some Bananarama?
7 Responses to “Wherein We Consider The Awesome Of Meat Loaf”
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Other than the tragedy of you not including “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights”, every statement in this article is 100% correct and I approve.
What about Paradise by the Dashboard Light? It’s the ultimate in epic rock duets - and perfect for hogging the mic for almost ten minutes at karaoke!
The baseball bases metaphor just doesn’t do it for me! Of course Paradise gets an honourable mention, but I wouldn’t bump Everything Louder Than Everything Else for it.
Thanks; I had never heard these songs or seen the videos before, though I’ve certainly heard *of* them.
Interesting: Wikipedia says that Meat Loaf says that the “that” he won’t do in each verse is the thing he said he wouldn’t do earlier in the verse.
Like: “But I’ll never forget the way you feel right now.” Fair enough; he’d do anything for love, except forget the way she feels. I guess that’s kind of romantic, though perhaps a bit oddly phrased.
But then there’s: “But I’ll never forgive myself if we don’t go all the way tonight”–so apparently in that verse he would do anything for love, except for forgiving himself for not going all the way tonight. Huh.
Anyway. CHANDELIER!
There is nothing like the ‘Loaf. I will never ever get tired of “Bat Out Of Hell”
And let’s not forget his turn as Eddie in RHPS.
I was about to leave a comment complaining about the omission of
Paradise By The Dashboard Light
but then I read the rest of the comments and saw that this had already been discussed.
I LEFT A COMMENT ANYWAYS.
As I wrote up a recommendation of this post, I realize that I am still living my life based on things I learned from Meat Loaf back in 1993 when Bat Out of Hell II came out (and things I’ve learned from him since then). I will need to write an analysis of this one of these days. But not today. Today I think everyone should come read this incredible acknowledgement of Meat Loaf’s awesome.