Bernie Monagle

My latest book is  So Whipped, So Stupid, So Sorry working title (like the publisher will let me use it)

It’s about feeling like a whipped dog because some girl you’ve known all your life has suddenly  turned into a gorgeous sex goddess, feeling stupid that you can’t get over her even though you know she will never go out with you and feeling sorry when she does go out with you because it destroys you both. It’s a comedy.

The best thing about being a writer is that in year eight a teacher told me no one is ever going to pay me for staring out the window and now that is exactly what I do. I get paid for daydreaming. Cold revenge is sweet.

If I wasn’t a writer I’d be working for a living.

My first published work was Blue Girl Yella Fella (Lothian, 2000). A scary partly true YA story about being stalked on a school bushwalking camp

Morning person or night-owl? Both! Sometimes I wake up and I just have to write or I will lie there thinking so I get up and use the quiet empty house. When the muse comes and taps on the window I listen.

My first job was shoveling heated, resin coated sand in a tin shed where the temperature was fifty plus degrees.

On a quiz show, my special subject would be Irish Whiskey. I’d get the first three questions then fall off the stool.

My last holiday was a trip to Eastern Europe including Auschwitz, it was a hoot.

My perfect Saturday is breakfast in bed, and then rockclimbing, somewhere high and remote.

The last CD I bought was Jack Johnson’s new acoustic album.

I’m currently reading the side of my coffee cup it says “Jamaica No Problem”. I’m rereading Artic Dreams by Barry Lopes

Big Brother or Australian Idol? Neither I hate them both, give me fiction, tell me a story, watching ordinary people doing ordinary things is well, ordinary.

My favourite film/tv show is ... My favorite film is Deerhunter and current favorite TV show is Top Gear it makes me laugh out loud. My wife says I am such a boy.

My favorite book is …This question is too hard but I’ll say Harry the Dirty Dog which was the first picture book I read all the way through on my own. You remember success.

The book character I would most like to meet is Honey Barbara from Peter Carey’s Bliss. Just don’t tell my wife.

The book character I would least like to meet is Shelob the spider from Lord of the Rings, reminds me too much of my step-mum.

The worst thing I’ve ever written is a musical for a year nine group called Cindy Red and Snow with thirty speaking parts. I absolutely hate filling in forms.

When I was growing up I wanted to be taller, older and meet lots of girls. Two out of three ain’t bad.

My heroes are Twiggy Dunne who played half-back flank for Collingwood in the 70’s, and Shafiq who is an ill fated young man who Australia have had locked up in detention for over six years. He has never lost hope; we need more Australians like Shafiq