I am a damn handsome man. My name is Craig TH, and I run a barely-updating website called "lunipenguin.com." Visit it. If you don't, I can do terrible things to you, and a mountain gorilla will die.
Now that we've got that out of the way, it took me like two minutes to write this perfectly punctuated, spaced out, capitalised about me. Why? Because typing comes as easily to me as saying "lol fail whale" does to you. Yeah, that's right. I know. I know all. Ask me anything.
Alright, Inspector Heath! I don't care too much for reading material. Nowadays, there's nothing good. I've outgrown such stick-in-the-mud authors like Andy Griffiths and all that, and young adult literature is currently dominated by vampires, other ridiculous fantasy concepts, and also the war genre, where there is a "sweet innocent child having to survive during the war," and this persuades some gullible teenage girls into reading and crying unnecessarily at all of the "carnage and horror" going on around a six-year-old. A six-year-old!! I mean, A SIX-YEAR-OLD!!
Yeah, but I read. I'm a budding writer, director, animator and programmer (I use actual code, not that stupid Game Maker crap), and my current book of choice is Stephen King's "It." Good book so far, but goes into a lot of detail describing the characters, even minor single-appearance characters like Patty Uris.
Anyway, to conclude, I hope that one day, literature will catch up with my advanced thinking. The novella I'm writing now is a tale of both terror, romance and laughter. It has no title yet, but its working title is "The Whispering Willow," and it tells of a towering 8,000-year-old tree that is awakened by a rough storm one night. Its roots go under the whole town of Deep Valley, and it uses its abilities to command the nature of other foliage, giving them a semi-intelligent murderous objective. Amongst this is social outcast Cade Whitecliffe, and a botany enthusiast friend of his, Grant Saunders (and maybe a potential love interest, I'm not done yet). Well, I'm not quite done yet, of course, but I'll re-inform the place when I'm finished. I'm setting a goal to be finished writing by July of 2013.
Whew! Thanks for reading all of this, unless you skipped ahead. If you didn't, thank you. If you did, I will come to your house and I will cut your hair so short it'll be way too funny even for my taste. Anyway, that's it. Read on, gifted children...